


anyone would guess

by timequakes



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-09
Updated: 2013-06-09
Packaged: 2017-12-14 09:56:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/835602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/timequakes/pseuds/timequakes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>sometimes it takes a few tries to get it right.</p>
            </blockquote>





	anyone would guess

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for someone in particular and I hope she loves it and if other people do too then that's great tbh I just wanted to post it so she could read it whenever she wanted~

**i.**

“Is that- do you _pad_?”

Alex is startled by the sound of Kelley’s voice and crumbles the tissues up in her hand, knowing it’s too late but trying to cover for herself anyway. She’s only gotten the tissues out of one side of the bra, anyway, and it’s obvious, and she wishes she’d closed the door but she hadn’t realized that Kelley was going to be back from the hotel bar so early.

She clears her throat, tries to make a joke out of it.

“You would too if _yours_ were this small.”

“It’s not like mine are big.”

Alx has to admit she hasn’t really paid much attention; Kelley’s are bigger than hers and in all honesty that’s all Alex was ever concerned with. She hates being so flat-chested. Up until she graduated high school she just kept hoping puberty was taking its time with her. By now she’s learned to accept that this is her lot in life- accept, but not live with. The demi bra needs a little help.

She fishes the tissues out of the other side and tosses them in the trash can, sighing.

“They’re bigger than mine.”

Kelley steps into the bathroom, a little unsteadily but not swaying. She’s shamelessly looking at Alex’s chest, and even the demi bra exaggerates. She has no cleavage to speak of. No _nothing_ to speak of.

“They’re great.”

Kelley lifts her hands, but she pauses before she touches, looking up at Alex through her eyelashes like she wants permission- like the fact that Alex hasn’t freaked out on her already isn’t enough- and Alex nods a little, just barely. She doesn’t know why. The alcohol makes this less weird than a part of her remembers it ought to be; it’s just Kelley. She trusts Kelley.

Kelley touches, first one and then the other and then both, and Alex lets her like this is a totally normal thing. When Kelley’s thumb brushes over her nipple as Kelley moves her hand, Alex swallows, and she swallows hard. It’s pretty clear that touching breasts isn’t _that_ foreign for Kelley. Or maybe she just touches hers a lot. 

“Don’t pad,” Kelley says, retracting her hands, making woozy eye contact with a tipsy-turvy smile, “they’re perfect.”

“Maybe to you. Guys like bigger ones, though.”

Kelley shrugs, calling back over her shoulder as she heads back into the bedroom.

“Fuck ‘em. You should ask Serv if he likes them. I bet he’d say the same thing.”

“To fuck guys?”

They crack up, and Alex wriggles into a t-shirt before she collapses into giggles again, this time on her own bed. Kelley’s is only a few feet away, but it feels like an ocean between them.

“He’s supposed to say he likes them. That’s his job.”

“Does he do it?”

“Do what?”

Kelley rolls onto her side, facing Alex.

“His job.”

They’re talking about sex now. Maybe they were talking about sex before, too; Alex can’t keep up. She blinks a few times, letting out a breath. It’s hard living in Portland with him back in Seattle. Maybe harder than if they were cross-country. It’s like they’re close but not close enough, because she can’t expect him to drive three or four hours just to see her as frequently as she’d like to see him. The last time they’d slept together had been a month and a half ago. It had been anticlimactic.

“Yeah.”

“And does he like doing it?”

“You mean me?”

It’s funny again, and they laugh again, but Alex is glad for Kelley, glad that Kelley’s making her think about it. Because thinking about Servando and the way their relationship has held up, or at least how it’s tried to, makes her feel better. Things might not work out. They know that, and they’ve spoken about it, but they’re trying, and she feels worth something there, remembering Kelley’s hands on her, and that there’s someone thinking of her, far away.

It’s probably fucked up, but she’s just a little _too_ fucked up to really think about it. She’s happy. She says so.

“Good,” Kelley says, and it’s the last thing either of them hears before they fall asleep.

**ii.**

At 24 she's mastered the art of being buzzed. 

They're at the bar for four hours; she spaces her drinks so that she's never past the line of 'drunk', just tipsy enough to be fun to be around, in her own opinion. The ice that usually freezes her bones around people she doesn't know melts off and she can dance and laugh and talk with _anyone_ , without embarrassing herself. 

Kelley's not so great at it. 

It's okay, though. It's kind of funny, actually, because she's so _loud_ , and her usually well-hidden neediness just bleeds into conversation, so she ends up loudly lecturing some young environmental lawyer about the dangers of fracking while Alex waits for the guy she's talking to to realize who she is. He's googling her, she can tell, because he's careful to angle his phone away as he types and scrolls. He knows the name and knows the face but not why she's known. 

Alex is used to it. 

When someone meets Abby or Hope they know immediately. There's no question of why their names are well-known; the sport is tied to them and they're usually respected as athletes as much as they are respected as women. That's not what it's like for Alex. A lot of people know her name and a lot of people know her face and sometimes they even know she's a soccer player, but their primary interest is the face part. And the other parts. Whatever parts they'd like to think they could touch. 

It's mostly men, but it's not always men (there was one very pushy, too-young lesbian girl in London that Alex had almost decked). Tonight it's the men. She'd like to be able to use Kelley as an excuse now that the guy's doing what they all do, practically reading her Wiki page back to her - "Oh, you went to Berkeley, right? You were that header in the 123rd, that was awesome!"- but Kelley doesn't notice her, and things just get worse.

"Let me buy you a drink."

She knows he's trouble right away because he doesn't ask or suggest, he _orders_ , like he can't imagine she'd say no. 

"I have a boyfriend," she says, and she tries to make it sound apologetic but it comes out more aggressive than she means it to. 

"Is he a real guy or one you made up to avoid going home with me?"

It's a jump- not that she was unaware of his intentions, but still- and Alex's hostility rises as she narrows her eyes. 

"He's a real guy, but if you weren't a dick, it wouldn't matter."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

He raises his voice and the bar falls into a hush that would almost be funny if she were drunker and he were talking to someone else. Next to her Kelley swivels to look at them; Alex imagines her jaw is slack. 

Slowly, Kelley leans over Alex’s shoulder and into the conversation.

“Is this guy bothering you?”

Like Kelley’s her bodyguard and not five foot five and most of it alcohol.

‘This guy’ stands up, and Alex almost flinches but catches herself at the last minute. Before she can think to turn around Kelley’s already standing, too, and the guy has to be a full foot taller than her but she’s squaring her shoulders and standing up to him anyway.

“Do all your fans know what a standoffish bitch you are?”

He asks it over Kelley’s head, and Alex almost drops her glass when Kelley shoves him.

She _does_ drop her glass when he shoves her back.

Men aren’t supposed to hit women but he’s pretty drunk and pretty mad and Kelley’s too light and stumbles back into the bar so hard she hits her head on it, inches from Alex, who gets up herself and gets in his face while Kelley stands again.

She slaps him.

It surprises him, clearly, and when Alex turns back to Kelley she sees that _Kelley_ is surprised too; the look of utter shock on her face stays there all the way through Alex grabbing her and dragging her out of the bar and down the street.

“You hit him!”

“He pushed you.”

“I’ve never seen you _hit_ anyone.”

Alex ignores her, stopping Kelley in the middle of the sidewalk to touch the back of her head, where she can already feel a bump rising. Kelley winces, ducking away from her, but she can’t get far because Alex has her by a shoulder.

“Is your head okay?”

“It’s fine. It just needs some ice or something.”

-

Alex makes Kelley sit still on the couch in their hotel room when she goes to get the ice, ordering her to sit on her hands and not move an inch. When she comes back she sees that Kelley is actually _literally_ sitting on her hands, back rail-straight, staring straight ahead, and laughs despite herself.

She holds the ice to the back of Kelley’s head, using her other hand to take Kelley’s hair-tie out. Kelley leans into her hand a little, like a cat, and Alex runs her fingers through Kelley’s hair without really thinking about it, wanting to comfort her and feeling like the whole thing is kind of at least a little bit her fault.

“Sorry I made it worse,” Kelley says, “I was gonna fight him.”

Alex grins.

“My knight in shining armor.”

Their knees are touching because the angle requires it. Alex takes her other hand away, out of Kelley’s hair, and Kelley freezes. She’s not smiling. She’s looking closely, and Alex can tell without a doubt the exact second that Kelley’s eyes leave her face for her lips.

Kelley leans in, and Alex lets her, and when Kelley kisses her Alex kisses back.

It doesn’t last very long, but it lasts longer than it should. By all rights- and she knows this- Alex should pull away and say something, but she doesn’t for a while, she just _enjoys_ it, and tries not to think about anything else, and touches Kelley’s jaw with her free hand.

She only pulls away once Kelley leans in even further like this is going to go somewhere, and then she hands Kelley the ice pack and goes to brush her teeth.

She’s hoping that by keeping them physically apart for a minute or two it’ll just go away, like it didn’t happen at all and her lips aren’t still tingling and Kelley’s not still sitting on the couch blinking as if she has no idea what’s just happened. That’s not how it works.

"Hey, Alex? Why'd you kiss me back?"

"I could ask you the same question."

She starts to floss and has to drop her hands when Kelley answers.

"I'm drunk and you're pretty. I wanna know your excuse."

She doesn’t _have_ an excuse, and she has to wonder whether Kelley knows it. Tonight has been ridiculous, and she doesn’t know how to handle it, and there’s not enough alcohol in her system for this to be less awkward. She’s not sure there’s enough alcohol in the _city_ to make this less awkward. 

It would be easier if she hadn’t liked it.

"I was curious."

If it surprises Kelley, it surprises her more; she hadn’t meant to be honest about it and she goes back to flossing with renewed fervor, face burning. She can see her expression in the mirror and Kelley out of her periphery, leaning forward on the couch.

"Are you still curious? We can make out some more if you're still curious."

"I have a boyfriend."

"Oh, yeah."

Kelley looks dejected. Alex throws away the floss and leans against the sink, taking a deep breath and closing her eyes.

"You're a good kisser though."

"Yeah, I know."

There’s a pause for enough time that Alex is silly enough to think it’s all over and reaches for her facewash. Kelley lets her lather, and then, when she goes to rinse, she has another question to answer.

"Is he a good kisser?"

Alex hesitates, the wet towel resting in her hands.

"Serv?"

"Yeah."

She swallows, lifting the towel to her face and trying to keep calm.

"I don't date bad kissers."

**iii.**

They break up in late May.

Alex doesn’t tell anyone at first. Allie knows, because they live together and she heard Alex’s side of the phone conversation, but after three years ending it over the phone feels cheap and trashy and Alex hates it. They both knew it was coming, but that didn’t make the fact of it any easier. Especially not under the circumstances, the circumstances being almost 200 miles between them.

It would have been easier for her if Serv had actually hurt her.

He’s too nice for her not to miss him, and she _does_ miss him. She misses him all the way to Toronto, where she can only hope that national team camp will distract her long enough to wait out the hurt. She rooms with Kelley, 

If anyone notices that she's off, they don't bother saying anything to her. She spends training so focused that she wonders if the reason they're not asking is because she looks like she doesn't want them to. It's only in a moment of vulnerability that Kelley bothers to ask her _anything_. 

“Did you ever ask Serv about your boobs?”

Alex watches the commercial without blinking, letting it make her eyes water, shifting on Kelley’s lap.

“We broke up.”

“Oh, shit.”

Alex doesn’t answer, and she feels Kelley move to look down at her, the hand on her shoulder pressing a little.

“Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to- are you okay?”

“It was twelve days ago,” Alex laughs at herself, rolling onto her back and looking up at Kelley’s concerned, upside-down face, “but who’s counting, right?”

Kelley frowns at her, and Alex tries to remember anything except the last time they shared a hotel room like this- the drunken kiss, or the not-so-drunken kiss- and fails completely. She makes the mistake of looking at Kelley’s mouth, distracted by her heart-shaped lips and the smattering of freckles around her chin.

She lingers too long and Kelley leans down a little bit, her brow knit with confusion. Alex is sending mixed signals and she knows it but she’s not sure what she wants anymore, or who she is, even. She wasn’t good enough for Servando to follow her and she was more committed to Portland than she could be to him and she just feels unwanted and lost, so when Kelley starts to close in on her it surprises her how much she _wants_ it.

But this time it’s Kelley that stops.

They’re sober, deadly so, and Alex closes her eyes and screws up her face and wishes she could disappear.

“Shit. Sorry. Again, sorry again.”

“Don’t, Kelley.”

“I didn’t want to- I mean, I wasn’t trying to- I don’t know what I was doing.”

“Please just drop it.”

Kelley drops it, but not Alex, who sits up and tries to focus on the TV again. Kelley’s sitting too close for her to focus, though, and she knows better than to think that avoiding the topic is actually going to fix anything. She feels like she owes Kelley an apology, but the best she can do is drop her head to Kelley’s shoulder. It’s an awkward angle because Kelley is shorter, but Alex doesn’t care. After a moment Kelley slips an arm tentatively around Alex’s waist.

“I don’t know what I want.”

“Okay,” Kelley says, and it sounds like the beginning of a sentence but there’s nothing else.

“I don’t know if- if I’m even _allowed_ to want anything yet.”

“That’s fair.”

But it’s not, and Alex knows it. Kelley turns a little bit so that their arrangement turns into a hug, a genuine one that Alex sinks into as she tries not to cry. 

-

They’re both reading on their separate beds when it happens, later, unprompted by any kind of physical contact or conversation. 

“Alex?”

“Kel?”

“I love you. That can mean whatever you want. You know, whenever.”

**iv.**

Portland doesn’t score a single goal.

It’s the only time all season that any team has been able to hold them from scoring, and it’s one of the only times they’ve lost. Kelley scores, and then they move her back and she spends the rest of the night covering Alex. 

There’s something exhilarating about covering Alex. Something other than how fucking fast she is- something about her physicality, the way she tries to spin around Kelley, the way they bump up against each other. Kelley’s not afraid of Alex. That’s how she keeps Alex from scoring.

And it drives Alex batshit.

When the game is over and she has hardly been able to take a single shot, she’s frustrated enough that Kelley’s hug barely touches her. She mutters a ‘good game’ when they part, and she sees the hurt clearly on Kelley’s face but isn’t in any place to fix it. She’s got too much welling up in her, too much resentment and internal frustration, to do anything but sign a few dozen autographs and disappear into the tunnel and the locker room.

Nobody tries to talk to her. Nikki smiles at her, and she tries to return it but she’s afraid her face isn’t quite saying ‘happy’ as much as it’s supposed to. She’s probably doing something closer to a grimace. She spends longer in the shower than she needs to, but when she’s dressed and outside Kelley’s waiting anyway. There’s a storm blowing in and it’s cooler than it needs to be and she can see that Kelley’s cold, even, because her hair is wet and she’s got her arms crossed. It’s clear she’s not waiting for anyone else, even though she says hello when Allie passes her. It’s only once Alex is in her line of vision that she smiles a little, but it’s a nervous smile, one that shakes a little, and makes Alex feel guilty.

“Hey.”

Alex isn’t sure why she has the urge to tuck some hair behind her ear all of a sudden. It’s a flirty thing, it’s something she does when she’s trying to come across coy. This isn’t some guy, and it’s not Servando, it’s /Kelley/. So why does it feel like they’re on some kind of blind date?

She tucks some hair behind her ear. Kelley’s eyes catch on the movement and it takes a second for them to make eye contact again. 

“Hi. Are you okay? I mean, other than the game.”

“The game is everything,” Alex laughs a little, “at least right now. I’ll be fine.”

There’s another long moment of hang time where Alex isn’t sure what to say and Kelley doesn’t bother to say anything. She’s just watching, just waiting for Alex to speak, rubbing her arms. Eventually Alex kickstarts herself.

“I’m sorry. I need to- unwind or something, I don’t know. I need to eat. Do you want to get some food? Do you have to be somewhere?”

Kelley grins and shakes her head and the dichotomy makes Alex dizzy.

“No, yeah. I can eat, I can do whatever. Christie’s my roommate and she won’t mind that I’m not around to keep Reece from actually going to sleep on time.”

-

They do eat, and Kelley doesn’t judge when Alex orders a grilled cheese and french fries. It’s her cheat night and she’s /hungry/ and after a loss like that she needs comfort food. Kelley gets a wrap and a Diet Coke and Alex wonders if the Coke is for her benefit or for Kelley’s.

They talk about anything but soccer. Alex has never realized how difficult that is for her until this exact moment. Her entire _life_ is soccer; the best she can do is talk about Scandal, or whatever she’s reading or what Kelley’s read. Nothing of substance comes up and all the while she’s remembering Kelley following her all game like she was _easy_ to cover.

He comes up, eventually. 

“Have you spoken to Serv at all?” and Kelley looks guilty even when she says it, but Alex forces a smile and dips a fry and pretends it’s fine that Kelley’s asked.

“On and off. He’s busy, I’m busy. It’s whatever.”

“You don’t sound like it’s whatever. I don’t want to push you or anything but I know it’s- you can talk to me about it.”

Alex doesn’t have to think about her answer, she just has to look up at the way Kelley’s watching her through her eyelashes and the way her still-damp hair falls over her shoulder to know.

“I don’t really want to talk to you about it, Kel.”

And it’s not because she doesn’t want to talk about it. Talking about Serv isn’t that bad anymore, it’s just that she doesn’t want to talk to _Kelley_ about him, and she knows she’s gotten the point across because Kelley blushes a little and looks down at her water. She doesn’t want to talk to Kelley about Serv because Kelley kissed her. She doesn’t want to talk to Kelley about Serv because she wants to talk to Kelley about Kelley.

And maybe it’s the carbs sitting heavy in her stomach, but she’s starting to come to terms with that.

-

After, Alex taps the hotel into her phone and finds that her apartment is on the way. They don’t have to say goodbye until they get to her building, and when they get there they pause again. The whole night has been so stop and start that Alex doesn’t want to wait for the moment to end to restart. Instead she asks if Kelley wants to come up for a bit, and Kelley grins at her in the streetlight and it’s fine. It’s fine that Alex’s hand shakes when she presses the button for her floor. It’s fine that she’s hoping Allie is out. It’s fine that Kelley sees her hand shake and reaches over to grab Alex’s fingers and squeeze them.

It’s fine when Alex lets them into the dark apartment and closes the door and drops her bag and stands there as if naked in the foyer with all of her at Kelley’s discretion.

Kelley doesn’t say anything; doesn’t move.

“Your bag.”

Alex’s voice startles even herself, but she presses on: “You can put it down.”

Kelley drops her bag and nudges it aside with one foot. After another pause she steps forward, into Alex’s space, and reaches for her hand again. Allie’s not home but she could be any second. Alex isn’t sure if Kelley even knows she has a roommate, but the way Kelley’s looking at her, she doesn’t want to bring it up. 

This time when they kiss it’s Alex who goes in, and she goes in slow. It has none of the sloppiness of the first time, but she assumes that’s because there’s no alcohol involved. There’s just the after-dinner mint on Kelley’s breath and Kelley’s grip on her hand to keep them grounded. When Kelley pulls back she instinctively licks her lips and it flips some kind of switch for Alex, who reaches to slide her hand behind Kelley’s neck and pull her in again for more.

And more is better. It wasn’t a joke, Kelley _is_ a good kisser. At first her hand comes up to Alex’s cheek but it slips down her neck and eventually rests on her chest, over Alex’s heart. Alex realizes that the numbness in her legs combined with her singular focus on kissing Kelley isn’t going to work out- she sways a little, lurching forward, and has to catch herself by taking a step forward, bumping into Kelley and parting them even as they both start to laugh.

Kelley drops her hand to Alex’s hip to steady her, and Alex drags the hand that was on Kelley’s neck around to the collar of her button-down, where her fingers press through to slide over Kelley’s collarbone.

“You okay?”

“Remember when I told you before that I wasn’t sure what I wanted?”

They’re still so close that when Alex opens her eyes to look at Kelley she has to lean back or she’d be cross-eyed. Kelley looks like she’s afraid to be hopeful about it, but Alex can tell that she is- hopeful- by the way she holds her breath and lets it out in intervals against her lips.

“I’m glad I waited. Now is better.”

-

It goes slower than she expects it to. Maybe because it’s Kelley, and she’s not sure she’s ever seen Kelley do _anything_ slowly, but either way Alex is surprised by it. She lets Kelley take the lead but it’s not as much a decision as it is just the way it happens, with her bedroom door closed and her back against the mattress and Kelley straddling her hips. The main thing that surprises her is that none of it feels strange at all. She doesn’t know what to do with her hands when Kelley sits up and breaks off the kiss to tug her shirt over her head, and it must be obvious because Kelley laughs a little and reaches forward to place Alex’s hands on her hips. Like permission- almost like a challenge.

She’s good at challenges, but this one makes her wary because the last challenge she took up against Kelley she lost spectacularly, so she leaves her hands on Kelley’s hips and lets the defender start to work at her buttons before she dares to move at all. One hand slides up Kelley’s back, which tenses under the attention, and the other one skims around to the front of Kelley’s jeans, but she doesn’t get the chance to pop the button. Kelley leans forward, catching herself on one hand, and presses her lips to Alex’s chest where she’s unbuttoned the shirt. Each button she unbuttons is an invitation to take her lips lower. Each inch she covers makes Alex’s stomach flutter.

This can’t be new.

The whole thing has a feeling of premeditation about it, as if Kelley’s been thinking on it for a while. Alex would like to think she’s good enough at this to keep her mouth shut but she knows better.

“How long?”

It’s not so much a question of sex as it is a question of /wanting/ this, and the way Kelley stills just below her belly button tells her that’s come across.

“A while,” Kelley admits.

“I don’t know how this works.”

Alex reaches for Kelley’s hands, and that’s how she tugs Kelley back so that they’re face to face again. One of Kelley’s legs has ended up wedged between hers and she fights the urge to press against it, unsure whether they’re that far along yet and afraid to go too far too soon.

“I don’t either. We’ll figure it out.”

“I mean, I know- oh.”

The middle of her sentence is totally cut off when Kelley shifts to rest more comfortable on one forearm, because in the process the knee between Alex’s legs shifts, too, and Alex squirms, rutting against it. Kelley kisses her again, and Alex, now past the point of worrying about slow, thumbs the button of Kelley’s jeans open and shoves them down over her hips.

In her haste she half-removes Kelley's underwear, too, which sends them both into spasms of laughter and makes it take twice as long for Kelley to kick off her jeans and get started on Alex's. Alex gets her own jeans off much faster than Kelley did, and she’s not really laughing anymore because she’s trying to figure out how their bodies work together, or if they’re going to. 

Kelley replaces the knee between Alex’s leg with her hand, but she does it like she’s not sure she should and Alex doesn’t have the answer to the question Kelley’s asking. Kelley’s hand presses against the waistband of Alex’s underwear, then down, and, like it was with the knee, Alex can’t keep from pressing into it. Kelley watches, watches Alex’s hips and then looks up into Alex’s face, clearly trying to gauge reactions and figure out if she’s doing it right. 

Alex can’t think of any way to convince Kelley she’s doing it right other than telling her, but when she opens her mouth all that comes out is a sustained groan.

Kelley, encouraged, rears up again so she can kiss a smile into the juncture of Alex’s neck and shoulder. When Alex tries to return the favor, one hand on Kelley’s hip and the other diving between her legs, she thinks she’s done something wrong. Kelley freezes and tenses up against her, and Alex starts to move her hand away but is stopped when the hand between _her_ legs reaches up to grab her wrist.

She lets Kelley guide her. Kelley may not know what /she/ wants to do, but she knows what she wants, and Alex is fast to learn. This time when Kelley tenses she knows it’s not a bad thing, and the first time she makes a choice on her own, twisting her wrist in one direction, she’s gratified by Kelley’s moan against her collarbone.

Kelley drops her hand to go back to what she was doing before, this time beneath the underwear, but the angle is strange because she’s resting most of her weight on her other arm and simultaneously following the rhythm of Alex’s questing fingers. The way they are now, Kelley’s getting most of the attention, and Alex likes it that way. 

Kelley’s already had her chance to be the best at something tonight.

With Kelley’s lips still working against her pulse point Alex turns her head a little to skim her own lips over Kelley’s temple. Kelley shifts a little to sit up some, or at least to come off the mattress and Alex’s torso more, and in the process Alex swipes her thumb and Kelley makes a noise that is downright obscene. It makes Alex blush but it doesn’t make her stop- on the contrary, she does it again, finding a little part of her is still rational enough to hope Allie’s not home to hear.

Kelley’s hand falters and Alex doesn’t even mind because she can tell that means Kelley’s close. The thumb-swiping causes a groan no matter how many times she does it, so she does it more, in intervals, but not in any discernible pattern. She wants to keep Kelley guessing- or at least keep her body guessing- and she knows she’s succeeding when the arm Kelley’s using to hold herself up starts to tremble.

Kelley’s not quiet about it when she comes and Alex _almost_ has the presence of mind to worry about her neighbors but in the end she really doesn’t care. Let them hear. It’s just Kelley, anyway. The more she tries to downplay it the more violently she starts to realize how far they’ve just taken this. They’ve gone from being best friends to being lovers and she doubts herself for the full half a minute it takes before Kelley breathlessly returns to her neck.

She stops being able to think When Kelley touches her again. This time her angle is better, or at least her focus is better, and Alex is unable to do anything but press her fingers into Kelley’s shoulderblades and hold on. The lips working against her neck give way to teeth, scraping and nipping and soothing it over with her tongue, and Alex doesn’t understand how Kelley’s that coordinated but she certainly appreciates it. She appreciates it loud and clear.

In the end it's the press of Kelley's chest to hers and the sound of her name on Kelley's lips that sends Alex over the edge. Kelley covers Alex's mouth with one hand and she ends up laughing, dropping an arm to wrap it around Kelley's waist. 

"Oh, okay, _I_ should be quiet. Did you even hear yourself?"

Kelley rolls onto her side, off of Alex, and breathlessly imitates the noises Alex was making half a second ago.

"Shut up-"

"You were way louder than me."

"Are you complaining?"

It's almost a serious question. In a way it /is/ a serious question disguised as something else, and it takes Kelley a few seconds to get that but when she does her entire face softens in understanding. She reaches over with a hand on Alex's jaw and kisses her, and it's an entirely different thing. It's tender. It's not part of an experiment or a product of lust. It's just Kelley, just Alex. It's _right_. 

"No regrets, Al."

"None?"

"No way."

-

It feels stranger in the morning, a little. Kelley clings in her sleep, and to move Alex has to peel her off, which threatens to wake her up. It’s not /that/ that wakes Kelley up, it’s when Alex leaves the bed that Kelley sits up a little, blinking. Alex is about to say good morning when there’s a clatter in her kitchen and she remembers Allie.

Allie, who doesn’t know about Kelley. Allie, who Kelley doesn’t know about.

“You have a roommate?”

Kelley hisses her question, eyes wide.

“Allie Long,” Alex answers. 

There’s another clang. Somehow Kelley thinks it’s wisest to jump up and get into her jeans and button-down (misbuttoned, one off) and try to sneak out. Allie sees her, of course. It’s a little hard to miss Kelley skittering through the kitchen and out the door.

She doesn’t even say goodbye, just briefly makes eye contact before she’s gone. Allie does a double take, then a triple take, then drops her fork to her plate and turns to Alex, openmouthed.

“You so fucking owe me.”

“Allie-”

“Kelley, though? Kelley fucking O’Hara? I mean, really?”

“I know, okay? I know.”

She does know. But she still doesn’t regret it, and she’s still not sure how to phrase that, so she just shrugs, palms up.

“I had to go sit in a fucking diner for two hours you guys were so loud. Jesus, Alex.”

“I’m sorry. I’m- I should have thought about it. I mean, I should have thought about you.”

“All I’m saying is that the next time my boyfriend’s in town you better believe you need a place to stay for the night. And maybe the next day.”

-

It’s worth it. It’s all worth it.

The distance is worth it, and Allie hating Alex for two straight days is worth it- everything, just for the flash of Kelley’s smile over a screen. For the promise of the real thing.

For Kelley.


End file.
